Survival Guide for a Stay at Home Mom (PART ONE)

As a young child, there were several things I always dreamt i would do when I grow up: at a point I wanted to be a Nun, at some I wanted to be a Doctor. I finally studied computer science and dreamt of  working in a multinational; working in the IT department  as a System analyst or something close to that and climbing the career ladder. In all this, there was always one thing I knew I didn’t want to be: a stay-at-home mom. Or, in the parlance of my youth, a housewife.

 Yes, I have worked temporarily in two multinationals
but I am currently on a break as a Stay at Home Mom ( SAHM ) to my lovely kids.

A lot of people would ask what do SAHMs do all day?  Are you kidding me? We work our asses off, dressing, cooking, feeding, cuddling, playing, comforting, rocking, changing, disciplining, cleaning, correcting, laundering, teaching, driving, encouraging, supervising and  sometimes we also attend to wifely duties! 

This job is no joke at all, it can be draining, sometimes frustrating, no wonder some SAHMs go through depression.

However, it is a SPECIAL duty.

I’ve learnt that, there are wonderful advantages to staying home with your children, but this has come with a cost: it is a hard job, I feel much lonelier, and more exhausted than I could have ever imagined. That being said, there are little (and big) ways to make the most of it each day. So here we go:

1.        Look within and draw strength: Take a few minutes off to reflect, meditate and get       refreshed.You are a woman, you are strong!

2.      Be relevant: Develop interests, learn a skill, read books, follow trends. Try to know more about your husband/Partner's profession so that you can engage in discussions and also give opinions on it, be informed!

               Do not limit your discussions with your husband on issues around the kids alone, talk about other exciting things like joint projects and what role you will be playing in order to make it successful.

3.        Be happy:  some people are of the opinion that their spouse should be someone who completes them and make them happy, this only happens in the movies. Your happiness is a function of you. It is a state of the mind, it is a choice. Choose to be happy. Do your house chores with joy; take care of your children with joy. Do not see it as a chore. Be happy about it. For some people happiness is spontaneous, for some, it is not, then make a conscious effort to start it and gradually it becomes lifestyle.

4.        Live your life: Being a stay at home mom does not mean your life has to end, live for you, think of ways to make you feel fulfilled. You can start a small business, render a service, engage in charity, join a support forum; though physical mom forums are not very common in Nigeria, but there are several online groups you can join on Facebook and several support forums online, explore these options. 

Note:   The children you put your lives on hold for would someday move out and start their own lives too. Live, so you won't have to think one day what you did with your time here, or have an 'unnecessary' sense of entitlement when the kids grow up.

          I would be coming up with part two of this series as putting it all in one post would make it long.so till then, cheers to happy mom!